Unhappy with item color.
• Unhappy with item style.
• Happy with item color and style, but unhappy in general and projecting onto item.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e3748d1f51261132e8678/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-001.jpg)
• Happy with item color and style, but removing item required a warmup stretch, a can of WD-40, and a four-day juice cleanse.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e50eef030a67323b6a3b8/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-002-edit.jpg)
• Item arrived defective.
• Item arrived defective at reproducing euphoric rush of purchasing item thirty-six hours ago.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e374825e8e572400326af/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-003.jpg)
• Not satisfied with size.
• Not satisfied with fit.
• Not satisfied with size or fit because accidentally purchased a ferret tunic.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e3749bdc9b7206acb1d02/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-004.jpg)
• Size and fit perfectly fine, but still disappointed—perhaps because Todd was right: nothing is ever good enough for me.
• Item requires total overhaul of current Spanx inventory.
• Package arrived too late.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e37493f5318665f6eb98b/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-005.jpg)
• Package arrived too early; startled by package.
• Item not as described.
• Item exactly as described, but purchased just for the colorful tissue paper.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e37496db75f20107e7454/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-006.jpg)
• Drunk-ordered.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e37496db75f20107e7456/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-007.jpg)
• Drunk now.
• Item either arrived damaged or is supposed to have these shoulder cutouts for some reason.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e374bbdc9b7206acb1d04/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-008.jpg)
• Item too large.
• Item too small.
• Item somehow both too large and too small; designer appears unfamiliar with general shape of human-woman torso.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e374ab05d8f121d037a19/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-009.jpg)
• Changed mind about item.
• Changed mind about item after accidentally lighting item a little bit on fire.
• Too flammable.
• Not flammable enough.
• Item clearly designed by someone who hates fabric and wants to make it suffer.
• Thought item was shirt; actually dress.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e374af030a67323b6a38c/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-010.jpg)
• Thought item was dress; actually replacement cover for ikea ektorp ottoman.
• Item no longer needed.
![](https://media.newyorker.com/photos/596e50ee3f5318665f6eb9a0/master/w_727,c_limit/AH-Clothing-Return-011-edit.jpg)